John 13:18-30
Find a place and time free of distractions for the next 7-10 minutes. Sit comfortably and breathe deeply for a few seconds before you begin. If you haven’t read the Introduction to John’s Gospel, read it here.
Read John 13:18-30 noting the actions and reactions of each person.
It is significant to notice that John points out Jesus’ unfailing love for his disciples before he sends Judas off. Judas has just had his feet cleansed by the Messiah – the Rescuer – and Jesus served him knowing that Judas would betray him. It seems Judas has a choice right up to the point when he accepts the wine-soaked bread - the symbols of the body and blood of the Messiah - and then slinks off into the night to sell Jesus out.
Many words have been spent arguing whether some people are destined for the Kingdom of God while others are destined for damnation. Even the writers of the New Testament seem to be less than crystal clear on this point. But one thing we can clearly see from this passage is that Jesus freely holds out grace with open arms until a person thoroughly and finally rejects him.
Do you know someone who seems to be so lost, bad and broken that they are beyond hope? Stop to talk with Jesus about this person right now. Picture Jesus holding out grace to this person with open arms.
Read John 13:18-30 again noting the confusion of the disciples.
Judas had been with them from the beginning, and we know from John’s narrative that at some point Judas had begun stealing money from the group’s combined resources (John 12:6), but somehow none of the disciples were aware of his hardening heart.
Hardness of heart is a process. It starts with small, rationalized, unconfessed decisions and grows over time as more and more of those decisions pile up. We can hide our rebellion from almost everyone, but left unchecked it slowly eats away at our soul until we find ourselves unable to recognize that we are headed in a devastatingly destructive direction.
For the last few minutes of this meditation, consider asking Jesus to search your heart and mind and to show you any small acts of rebellion that you need to bring into the light of his mercy. If something comes to mind, confess it to Jesus. If the rebellious act has become a habit, recognize that it may take time to completely turn it around. Rather than allow guilt to overcome you when you trip up again, bring your rebellion immediately to Jesus picturing his open arms overflowing with grace.
If you sense that Jesus is asking you to take some kind of additional action, write down what you understand and make a plan to follow through.
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